Horoscopes are a rip-off, even when they're free

Friendster thinks it's so cool now that it has horoscopes. In addition to personal horoscopes like the one below, Friendster has "joint horoscopes" which say something like "You and X are flying high today! There's nothing you two can't do if you put your two heads together," where "X" is the name of an online "Friend" with whom you've had a falling out and to whom you never speak anymore.

Anyway, here's today's rip-off "personal" horoscope for me and about 1/12 of the rest of the general population:

The Bottom Line
You've ridden this horse as far as it will go. Time to find a new game plan.

In Detail
Thinking about staying in bed late? Well good for you. In addition to the fact that you haven't been able to do that in far too long, you're going to need your rest. The universe has arranged quite the evening for you and your dear ones. Don't ask any questions, and don't try to plan it too much. Just let go and enjoy yourself, no matter where you end up. You'll be amazed at how easy that is.

1. I don't own a horse.
2. I don't have a game plan at all.
3. re: staying in bed late. Liar! I had to get up early today to do the next step in a lab protocol.
4. What, dear horoscope, has the "universe" arranged for me this evening? It's 10:30pm and I just got home from work. I have to be somewhere at 8am tomorrow, so I hope the universe keeps it tame. If eating a pint of frozen yogurt and writing a lame blog post because I don't feel like reading some research papers is the universe's idea of "quite the evening," I think we need a new universe.
5. re: "dear ones:" What dear ones?