Faking it II

There's a Sex and the City episode in which Miranda has to fake being excited about a sonogram because everyone else expects her to be excited about finding out that she is having a boy. After trying to fight everyone else's expectations, she gives up. She responds to someone else's "Oh my God, Miranda! You're having a boy! Aren't you so excited? Oh my God!" with an obviously fake and forced smile.

Miranda had to fake it, but wasn't good at it.

I'm not good at faking it either. In fact, I'm terrible. I don't have to fake being excited about any sonograms, but I often feel like I'm expected to fake a personality I don't have. My mother would always lecture me growing up that girls have to smile all the time, and in a way so have most other people I've encountered. Despite being 33 years old, I guess I still fall under the category of "girls." It seems that if I don't go around smiling and giggling a lot, I'm scolded by any number of people, including random office mates with whom I barely converse, complete strangers on the subway, and cab drivers.

"Smile!"

Like Miranda, I've put up a resistance. I've wanted to yell back something like "What, I'm not giggly enough for you? Would you ask me to smile so much I were a fat hairy old man? I think not."

But, again like Miranda, I think I'm going to give in and give a fake and forced smile. I might even emit a fake giggle: "Tee hee! Tee hee hee!" The last thing that the Smile Enforcers will get from me is any shred of genuineness.