New Boyfriend Pre-Screening Form

PRE-SCREENING FORM
Name: ____________________________
Relationship status: _____________
ONLY SINGLE APPLICANTS ARE ELIGIBLE
Contact info (please enter a phone number and/or e-mail address): ________________

This Pre-Screening Form will be used to determined which, if any, of the candidates should advance to Round 1 interviews. Round 1 interviews will be conducted at a time and a place to be determined. More information about Round 1 interviews will be disclosed only to those candidates who have passed the pre-screening stage. Applicants who will not advance to Round 1 will not be notified. They are expected to not call, but rather, wait for a call that may never come.

Successful candidates from Round 1 will be invited for Round 2 interviews, which are generally lengthier and more involved. It is anticipated that Round 2 interviews will be conducted in a timely fashion after evaluations for Round 1 have finished. The interviewer may, on occasion, consult a Committee of Friends to complete evaluations of Round 2 candidates.

Applicants who have been invited for Round 1 interviews but who are not chosen to advance to Round 2 will also not be notified. They are expected not to call, e-mail, IM, or otherwise stalk the Interviewer.


1. Do you have man boobs? __ Yes __ No

2. Are you homophobic? __ Yes __ No

3. Do you shower regularly? __ Yes __ No

4. Do you have an Asian fetish or "preference?" __ Yes __ No
--> If no, do you really have an Asian fetish but are lying about it to get past the pre-screening stage? __ Yes __ No

5. Will you cheat on me?
__ Yes __ No

--> 5a. If yes, will you trap me in your room for an hour while you explain in excruciating detail your thought processes as you justified to yourself why it was okay to cheat on me? __ Yes __ No

--> 5b. If yes, will you whine when I dump you by text message? __ Yes __ No

6. Do you expect me to clean up after you and/or do your laundry? __ Yes __ No

7. Do you ever wRiTe oR tExT lIkE tHiS, spell definitely as 'definately,' or use apostrophes inappropriately? __ Yes __ No

8. Suppose you and I are in a relationship and we have a discussion about politics in which it is clear that we disagree. How do you react to the fact that I disagree with you?

(a) Assume that it means I am terribly upset and might cry and that maybe I will dump you or something.
(b) Demand that we keep debating until I agree that you are 100% right.
(c) Accept that we will disagree on some things and take the fact that I am arguing with you to mean, simply, that I am stating my opinion, and that my opinion is different than yours. No less, no more.

9. Suppose you and I have dated for a few months and you are at my apartment. When you use the toilet to take a dump, do you close the bathroom door?
__ Yes ___ No

--> 9a. If no, WHY THE HELL NOT? WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S OKAY NOT TO CLOSE THE BATHROOM DOOR WHEN YOU SHIT? THAT IS NOT MY IDEA OF INTIMACY. Okay, I am done yelling.
__ You are right, I am gross. __ You are right, I am really really gross.

10. (Please write in complete sentences and use proper English.) Why is it wrong to say that the velocity of an object is 25 m/s?
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