"Come here, you sexy little thing,"

I said this morning as I woke up and reached for my smoking hot, make-everyone-jealous, sleek new

iPhone.

I love not having to get out of bed to check my e-mail.
I do realize that this is
1) just one more step toward couch potato-ness that I don't need
2) somewhat pathological that I have an easier time expressing affection toward inanimate objects than toward human beings.